(Read after R’s first birthday on July 6th)
I’m writing this because I know you and B are unsure as to whether you want a third child or not. People keep asking, and at this point in your lives, you may be considering it.
Z is old enough to help out and engages in fun conversations. R is big enough to walk around and is as cute as ever. So, yeah, you could handle a third one, right?
Before you actively begin “trying,” do a few things for me first.
1. Sleep only on your side for a month to remember how much you miss sleeping on your back.
2. I can’t make you simulate what it was like to have to pee every half hour, just check your phone every so often and count the times you would have peed since the last time you looked. Also, at night, when you settle into bed all comfy and warm and start to doze, get up and pee.
3. Eat whatever you want. No, wait, never mind. That part is awesome.
4. Try to remember labor and delivery for both children. First, an emergency c-section. With recovery time lasting longer than you would like to admit. Second, a VBAC, which, honestly, was awesome, but recovery was still not fun.
5. At night, set your alarm for every two hours. When it goes off, sit in a chair for a minimum of 25 minutes. Then you can go back to bed. Do this for two weeks. Remember, the reality of this would last closer to six months and the awake time would vary from 25 minutes to 2 hours.
6. Don’t forget there will be many more diapers. If both kids are potty trained at this point, you will be right back to chatting about poop; size, color, consistency.
7. Lastly, what’s a really annoying sound that irritates the shit out of you? Listen to that several times a day-in fact, incorporate it into the waking every two hours at night exercise. And listen to it during hour-long car rides.
I just want you to remember the joys of pregnancy and the infant phase-and I merely scratched the surface. Because after a year, we forget and then we want another. Right now, you are dangerously close to that year, and I don’t want you to forget.
Do whatever you want. Just do not forget.