Come On, Just One More

I knew this was going to happen. My son just turned one and I’ve started thinking about a third. My husband is set at a solid No, and I keep thinking baby thoughts.

I just need to remind myself of a few things that will be prolonged significantly if we have a third.

1. It isn’t easier the more you have.

Yes, my children play together often. They also smack each other in the face. The boy grabs the girl’s hair. The girl rips toys out of his hands. And she pushes him down-“But mama, I’m trying to help him!” Help him walk faster? Or help him kiss the floor?IMG_8473.JPG2. Two seperate naptimes.

My son naps twice a day. Once in the morning, and once in the afternoon. The first nap is great because I get some quality time with my first born-which is very hard to come by with a second. The second nap is (supposedly) at the same time as my daughter’s nap. When I actually make this happen, I feel like a magician.

3. Tantrums, screaming, whining, and crying.

With two children, you get it all. A lot.IMG_9438.JPGAnd don’t forget, when it happens in public you get looks from all sorts. The eye rolls from the non-parents. The condescending “I’ve so been there” look from the parents. And my personal favorite, the “how can you treat your child that way” glares from either.

4. You’re never on time.

You have become the always “fashionably late” friend. You make sure you have plenty of time for the travel part, but you always forget to account for the “I need my diaper changed” as you’re walking out the door part. And when you do make extra time for these roadblocks, they don’t happen. Then you’re the “(obnoxiously) early friend.”

5. Trips are possible, but a little bit of a nightmare.

Aside from the never ending extra crap you have to bring, the darling offspring can make you crazy.

We went to Oregon this last weekend. We left right before the kiddo’s naps in hopes that they would sleep in the car. My son whined and screamed the entire way to our destination. He did not sleep, and the only time he would stop making crazy baby noises is if he was eating a cracker or nursing. And of course, when my daughter was awake, she would join in.

With all of the traffic and stops we made, it took us over five hours to get there. It should have taken three. My body was vibrating when we arrived, (and it took two hours for me to decompress.)IMG_0099.JPG6. Your house will never be clean again.

Tidy perhaps, but never really clean. You will have toys coming out of your ass. Never mind the fact that you donate toys twice a month. And you lose a tiny bit of sanity every day because you’ll always know that all the little pieces to a single toy is spread out amongst four different toy bins. IMG_5209.JPG7. You are never caught up on sleep.

The only time your kids “sleep in” is when you need to be somewhere. Our kids slept in the other day until 8 am. We were supposed to be out of the house by 7:30.

I understand. It’s our fault for not setting an alarm. But when at least one of your kids wakes you up at 6 every single day, you almost forget alarms exist.

8. Diapers.

So, so many diapers. True, my oldest will be potty trained soon, but I’d rather be down to one in diapers instead of back to two.

Don’t misunderstand. I consider myself extremely lucky to have my two beautiful children. I’m just merely suggesting (to myself) that we stop now. And if these reminders don’t work, perhaps I’ll have to revisit my letter to my future self.


August 13, 2014
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  • Reply LP

    Don’t forget the lack of money, never again getting to really enjoy your food, THEN the school years start – you become a taxi service, homework/school behavior gestapo, sports mom, dance mom, music mom…will need to be re-introduced to the man you married in, oh, say 16 years….(and that is IF you stop at 2)…and you get a new name – you are now Zoe’s mom or Ronan’s mom. You lay awake for THAT phone call (when the get older), be it from the teacher, the police, a BOY (for Zoe) or a GIRL (for Ronan)…anyway…I used to think that once they hit high school all would be good…ah…it is then I longed for the toddler/infant stages again.

    This said, there are many, many joys – to having children – You will be able to enjoy things that you forgot about…swinging in a swing, counting clouds, the magic of Christmas and fun “kids things”…unconditional love (well, until around, er, 8,9,10….), just the joy in them that comes unannounced and unexpected….and the pride watching them grow up into lovely, caring, compassionate, joyful human beings with so much to give the world.

    I personally think two is a great number…there is something to be said about “one for each”, and that much of life’s offerings come in amounts for 2 or 4….Plus, as you know, when there is 3, one always gets left out.

    So my dearest daughter-in-law….when the urge strikes, I vote for a puppy….I love you, Lyn

    August 14, 2014 at 7:13 am
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Haha! Wow! I haven’t even gotten close to the school years yet-that’s a totally different ball game. So, tell me how you really feel about your kids! Ha! šŸ˜‰ oh, and no puppy. Not now anyway…

      August 14, 2014 at 8:10 am
  • Reply Lauren

    I loved this post, I think everyone always thinks right after having two.. am I really done? šŸ˜‰

    August 15, 2014 at 9:51 am
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Haha! Thanks! Yeah…am I done?…

      August 15, 2014 at 10:46 am
  • Reply Branson

    I often say that waiting to think about #2 until after our son was potty trained was a big mistake… I am just SO not interested in doing diapers again šŸ˜‰ Of course I still dream of another go at the baby phase and know the diapers would be worth it, ha!

    August 15, 2014 at 3:59 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Yes, diapers are the worst! But I already miss the baby phase-ugh!

      August 15, 2014 at 4:02 pm
  • Reply threeboysandamom

    Very cute and all so true… but having 3 myself, I say do it! Haha! Its hard, but now that you’ve learned to handle 2, what’s one more!?

    September 19, 2014 at 11:14 am
    • Reply mamabyfire

      My biggest fear is if we decide to have a third and we end up having triplets. And unfounded fear, but I’m terrified nonetheless.

      September 19, 2014 at 1:50 pm
      • Reply threeboysandamom

        Haha, I understand the fear. 2 is a good number also

        September 19, 2014 at 2:02 pm
  • Reply Traci@tracesoffaith

    Did you convince yourself? šŸ™‚ A very accurate list!!

    September 19, 2014 at 4:36 pm
  • Reply shelahmoss

    It’s a great list. It’s hard to get past that burst of baby fever.

    September 20, 2014 at 7:32 am
  • Reply melissajane01

    Great list! Yes, I have thought of all of these things when thinking of a third. Why do kids always want to sleep in on the days you have to be somewhere early?

    October 20, 2014 at 12:46 am
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Thanks! I have no idea, but it’s the only time my kids have ever slept in.

      October 20, 2014 at 8:20 am
  • Reply CourtneyLynne

    Hahaha I have these kinda thoughts all the time! How fun another baby sounds… Then I have to remind myself of the reality and all the hard work that goes into it all…. Ahhhh… Fabulous read šŸ˜‰

    October 20, 2014 at 7:24 am
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Sometimes I forget about the bad parts, that’s why I write posts like these…to remind myself of the truth. Haha! Thank you!!

      October 20, 2014 at 10:37 pm
  • Reply shelahmoss

    What a great article. I remember when my brother-in-law decided he needed a third child because he had two sons and wanted a daughter. We thought it was awesome when they had a third son.

    October 20, 2014 at 8:15 am
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Thank you! Haha! I hear about that happening all the time! People are so funny!

      October 20, 2014 at 10:38 pm
  • Reply Jen @ The Halfway Homemaker

    Mt son just turned one over the weekend and my husband started mentioning #3. He wanted to wait till the end of the year to discuss once we got through the first year with thing 2. I love my kids, but I feel like I am cheating them out of attention by adding a 3rd. And pregnancy sucks for me. But I never say never. We are both from families of 3 so it is definitely still up for debate.

    October 20, 2014 at 10:49 am
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Yes, never say never! Me too! But on my end, anyway, we’re pretty sure no more. I would worry about attention for each kiddo too if we had a third. I’m amazed at the women that have “easy” pregnancies, I am not one of those women either.

      October 20, 2014 at 10:40 pm
  • Reply Tricia the Good Mama

    I only have one child, but we really would like to have more. Although, sometimes I think about how much easier life would be if we just had one. haha

    October 20, 2014 at 1:52 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Yes, done with the baby phase, sure…but in a year or two, the kids would entertain themselves by playing together. At least that’s what I keep telling myself…one day…

      October 20, 2014 at 10:41 pm
  • Reply threeboysandamom

    I know I already commented… I think I’m certifiable because there are times I want more, even though I’m overloaded and outnumbered as it is. I think realistically I’m done, especially given recent events haha, But still… I say give it a go when you’re ready!

    October 20, 2014 at 4:20 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire

      It’s so hard to decide you’re done because babies are so amazing, sweet, and innocent!! I think, whether we have another one or not, there will always be a part of me that will wonder “what about one more?”

      October 20, 2014 at 10:47 pm
      • Reply threeboysandamom

        I hear ya… It a hard decision because they don’t stay babies forever… It’s another life. So it’s definitely an important decision whichever way you go. But God will lead the way and you’ll know when and if it’s time ā˜ŗ

        October 20, 2014 at 11:27 pm

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