My Take On Fifty Shades

Posted in Parenting by

There’s quite a bit of controversy surrounding this book and the upcoming movie.

Why was it so extraordinary?

There are plenty of erotic novels out there. There’s a plethora of porn on the Internet. People just happened to be really into this one. Or really, really offended by it.

My take on Fifty Shades reading woman


I’ve seen a few articles against this particular series. Articles trying to keep one’s daughter away from the filth. Save all of the young girls from such horrible books! And Please, keep them away from the movie!!

I’d just like to say a big freaking “no duh!” Let’s pretend for a second my daughter is a teenager. I’m also not going to let her drink, smoke, or gamble. Because she would be too young.

However, I’m not going to judge those that liked it. And I certainly won’t try to make them feel guilty for wanting to watch the movie.

Yes. I read it. All three books. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

In my opinion, each one was a train wreck. Aside from the atrocious writing, the story constantly made me roll my eyes.

What’s more, it takes place in Seattle. A place I happen to know well, considering I live there.

The writer has never set foot in my city, and it shows. It’s so obvious, it’s painful. Names of locations are wrong, descriptions are hit or miss.

The content is what you would expect from a porn novel. Cheesy fantasies from both sides.

From the man’s perspective, all the crazy, dominating sex he could want.

From the woman’s point of view, amazing sex and an incredibly hot, successful, rich man that wants to take care of her. (I understand that not every man and woman wants these particular things. I’m just saying these books caters to those that do, and it ended up being wildly popular.)

What concerns me more about the relationship portrayed in this series is the male character’s behavior outside of the bedroom.

He’s possessive and jealous to an unhealthy extreme. In my opinion, this is more disconcerting for my daughter. This type of power play is not ok in any type of relationship. It’s one thing to role-play dominance in the bedroom, but there is no place for it in real life. Equality and respect are of utmost importance in a relationship.

What happens in the bedroom isn’t a concern to me. As long as they are consenting adults.

So, am I going to let my daughter read it (remember, we’re pretending she’s a teenager)?

Well, I’m not going to allow her to watch R-rated movies or drink coffee until she’s ready, why would an adult book be any different? The author wrote this series with a specific demographic in mind and young women are not it.

So the answer is No. It’s not appropriate for a young, impressionable girl.

But if you’d like to get into it, I also don’t think V.C. Andrews would be appropriate for my girl. If you were to look for those books, you would find them in the “young adult” section. I read some of them when I was a “young adult” (14 to be exact), and they were absolutely not appropriate. The stories fit the age, but the sex involved certainly does not.

I’m not comparing Ms. Andrew’s books to Fifty Shades exactly. My point is, if there is something I don’t think my kids are ready for, then I will do everything in my power to keep it from them.

There are so many things out there to protect our children from. All I can hope for is when my daughter is “of age” (18 years old-at least in the states), that she’s mature enough to understand the difference between an exaggerated story, and what’s appropriate in real life.

Photo credit: freeimages

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  • Reply Terri's Thoughts

    personally it isn’t something that I would bring in my house or even let my eyes see, but some people are ok with it and you have some great tips here for sure

    February 11, 2015 at 8:26 am
    • Reply mamabyfire

      I can certainly understand that. Thank you for stopping by and reading!

      February 11, 2015 at 8:40 am
  • Reply mrsmuffintop

    I read the 50 series, and thought they were pretty entertaining…in a “easy read, cheesy” type of way. But I also used to read V.C. Andrews. I had every single book, and couldn’t wait until the next one came out…and looking back, think it was so inappropriate for a girl my age. I don’t think my mom had a clue what they were about!!!

    February 11, 2015 at 10:32 am
    • Reply mamabyfire

      LOL!! Well, I did read all of them, so what does that tell you? Haha! I loved V.C. Andrews too, I just can’t believe I read them when I was so young!! And (I’m going to throw my mom under the bus), she was the one that gave me my first V.C. Andrews book. She didn’t know it was inappropriate though…(she’ll find out when she reads my post-ha!)

      February 11, 2015 at 10:37 am
  • Reply triciathegoodmama

    Thank you! I was giggling a little at all of those posts (e.g. “Save our Daughters”). I would not let my teenager daughter or son read those books just like I wouldn’t let them read any other book that’s too mature. I think too much violence is just as bad. I did read the books even though they were really terribly written. I’ll probably go see the movie with either friends or wait to watch it with my husband, mostly because I’m just curious.

    February 11, 2015 at 12:11 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Haha! Yep! I’m going to see it too-My friend and I are going out for a girls night. My husband won’t be caught dead at that one-and same here, because I’m curious. Lol!

      February 11, 2015 at 12:14 pm
  • Reply

    I think I might just be one of the only people that haven’t read the books… I would just assume you just keep it away from your kids like you would a dirty magazine!!

    February 11, 2015 at 1:13 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Yep-exactly!! Thanks for stopping by!

      February 11, 2015 at 1:15 pm
  • Reply threeboysandamom

    I have never read the books and dont plan to see the movie but I agree with you completely… Inappropriate for any child’s eyes for sure, and probably even for some adults haha! It seems,to portray a warped image of acceptable dynamics in a relationship and Lord knows there’s already plenty of struggle in that department without help from porn and racy movies and books too soon… (Although I don’t think there’s ever an appropriate age for porn but that’s just me) ☺

    February 11, 2015 at 2:09 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire

      It has warped images of what a relationship should be like for sure!! And I feel some people (no matter their age), can’t handle reading/watching some things. You must know, then, that you’re not missing much! After reading her work, I feel free to call myself a “writer” too. Haha! Maybe I should write a novel (not an erotic one though.) Thank you Rachael for reading and sharing your thoughts!

      February 11, 2015 at 2:34 pm
  • Reply andthreetogo

    Well said!

    February 12, 2015 at 8:59 am
  • Reply Scarlett

    Stopped by from F-book, because even though I’m an avid reader of Regency romances – which are popular, but also pretty racy – I didn’t read 50 shades. Wanted to, tried, but just never opened the book. Have been interested in what others are saying, and it sounds like I didn’t miss anything. I’ll take me regencies, and better writing, any day. I’m not planning on seeing the movie either for the same reason – just looks & sounds bad. 😉

    February 12, 2015 at 10:09 am
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Great-thanks for stopping by! That’s a good call, you’re not missing much! I got sucked in by the hype! And ended up losing several hours that I’ll never get back…

      February 12, 2015 at 10:14 am
  • Reply Alana

    I love your take on it. When the books really got momentum, my interest was peaked, but I had a friend say exactly what you did, “it’s very poorly written.” Then, I lost all interest. Plus the topic is a little dicey for my prudish heart. Lol. Now thst you’ve reviewed it and said what you’ve said about the writing and Seattle? There’s no, no, no chance!!!!! Great review of a not great book. xo

    February 12, 2015 at 10:27 am
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Thanks Alana! Yeah, the writing is pretty rough. But now she’s probably a millionaire, so what do I know? Ha!

      February 12, 2015 at 10:51 am
      • Reply Alana

        Haha. True… If only WE were THAT bad! Lol.

        February 12, 2015 at 9:14 pm
  • Reply C. Lee Reed

    Haven’t read or seen the book/movie, don’t really care to. I agree, adults have at it. Teens no way. I love your opinions and honesty.

    February 12, 2015 at 4:28 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Thank you! And thanks so much for reading!

      February 12, 2015 at 4:57 pm
  • Reply TwoPlusCute

    You read “all 3 books” just to “see what all the fuss was about”. Ahem. Moving on. I didn’t read any, on purpose: too many said it was poorly written. Also, not my style.
    I would not have such books for my teen kid (in the far future) to see, let alone read. If she finds them on herself, I’d be fine with it. I had read an amazing amount of lame books (including some erotica) as a teen (had no idea what the heck they were doing), just by browsing in bookstores. I got a pretty distorted idea about some things because I thought “if it’s the book it must be true”. Hopefully my daughter will be a tad older before she encounters that kind of ‘literature’. Not out of prudence but because I know how it may distort her views on the subject.
    So, I’d like her to be a lil older and ideally have some experience. 50 sounds like a good age for her to get access. Yep. =]

    February 12, 2015 at 6:57 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire

      Hahaha!! Fair point! I read the first one to see what the fuss was about. The end was a ridiculous cliff hanger that made me really curious and annoyed at the same time. So you could say I was hooked in a sense and wanted to know what happened.

      I agree, 50 sounds like a good age. 🙂

      February 12, 2015 at 7:13 pm
  • Reply lifeofatravelingnavywife

    It’s not judging or a desire to want to make anyone feel guilty. It is about raising awareness and when asked an opinion – giving it (such as the one posed on your Facebook page). Mommy porn does it for some people. I find it ridiculous and a completely ludicrous depiction of true BDSM. It’s unhealthy and sexualizing a misogynist and weak woman who won’t walk away just doesn’t do it for me. As I commented on your Facebook, I’d rather live it with my husband than pay to watch it. But again, that’s just me.

    February 13, 2015 at 6:51 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire

      I appreciate you sharing you opinion. I think the difference between porn and “mommy porn” is that porn is about sexualizing the woman to the very end with no regard to her at all. Where as “mommy porn,” or, this series, there’s a story about a man with control over the woman in the beginning with seemingly no respect. As the story goes, the control changes hands when the female character teaches the male how to love. I feel like that is why so many women, (not just mommies), liked this series. A shy, timid woman changes a seemingly untouchable man how to love and respect women.

      February 13, 2015 at 8:44 pm
  • Reply Melissa (Wading Through Motherhood)

    I don’t really know much about it. I watched ‘The Fall’ with the lead male character and thought he was really good in it. However, it’s about a serial killer so a completely different subject. I remember reading some of the V.C. Andrews books as a teen and know I wouldn’t want my kids reading those.

    February 14, 2015 at 1:26 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire

      I’ve never seen the male lead in anything. Not bad looking though. I loved reading V.C. Andrews books, but I didn’t read many because I knew I probably shouldn’t. Lol!!

      February 15, 2015 at 10:43 pm

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