A Letter To My Kids About Parenting

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To My Dear Kiddos,

One day, you may have children of your own. Or, maybe you won’t.

If you do decide to trudge down the path of uncertainty, insecurity, and wonderment known as parenting, I’d like to share a few thoughts.

Learning to parent is hard, these are my thoughts for my kids if they decide to have kids of their own.

Once you are a parent, your entire view on life will change.

Fear becomes a renewed part of your existence. I say “renewed” because after you become an adult, your childhood fears subside. Then suddenly, you have a little being you’re responsible for, everything seems terrifying again. There is a balance between being protective, and over-protective. The trick, is finding that balance.

You may disagree with how we raised you.

A Letter To My kids About Parenting

The “mommy wars” or “parenting wars” will still exist. They’ve been around since the beginning of time. Just know, we did the very best we could to the best of our knowledge.

You may not be happy that we vaccinated you. You may think it’s gross that I breastfed both of you. Perhaps you’ll be angry when you find out that, if the situation called for it, we let you “cry it out.”

A Letter To My Kids About Parenting

These choices were right for us given our experience and resources.

The same goes for my parents and daddy’s parents.

They made choices that helped develop and mold us to be the people we have become. We don’t make  the same parenting choices as them half the time, but the decisions we do make are supported by the foundation of our independence encouraged by them.

That is what I hope we are doing for the both of you. I welcome you to question us and our methods. But respectfully.

A Letter To My Kids About Parenting

I promise you, once you have children, memories from your childhood will surface and you may be confused. Hurt, even. Why did we handle something the way we did? Talk to us about it. We can’t change the past, but we can certainly learn from it (or at lease explain ourselves).

As your kids grow, it will hit you-Parenting is a lot of things.

It’s unconditional love. It’s Encouragement, Faith, Judgement, the latest fad.  But what it all comes down to, is instinct and intuition. Do what is right for you and your family because you love them more than you’ve loved anything in your entire experience, and deep down, you’ll know what needs to be done.

Only then will you be able to fully understand that that is what we did. You two are our world. We’ve always done what is right for you from our point of view.

Also, don’t be afraid to lean on others for help. Whether you need advice, a sitter, or just a moment to use the restroom in peace. Do what you can and before you reach the end of your rope, accept help (because it will be there!). You are useless to your children when you’re angry or frustrated all the time.

So, if you choose to be a parent, I promise I will keep my mouth shut and sit on the sidelines while you do everything wrong, just as your grandparents did for me and your daddy.

With all of my Love,


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  • Reply Shelah

    What a great letter. My favorite part is where you say that you “promise I will keep my mouth shut and sit on the sidelines while you do everything wrong.” Perfect!

    May 6, 2015 at 7:56 am
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Hahaha! Thank you! 🙂

      May 6, 2015 at 8:12 am
  • Reply twitchetts.blogspot.com

    This is sweet! By the time our little ones are all grown up I’m sure there will be a whole new list of things ‘to-do’ or ‘not to-do’… But you are right we all do what we feel is right. It is all about the love, if a child feels that it is the most important thing!!

    May 6, 2015 at 8:17 am
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Thank you! It’s so true! Some things that are common practice now, will be scoffed at later. (Just like whiskey on a tooth coming in was normal way back when.)

      May 6, 2015 at 8:20 am
  • Reply Christine

    I was also going to say your ending is my fav part! So many grandparents try to be the parents and it is just annoying. Luckily for me, I have been lucky to have support and not another 2 sets of parents for my child. But it is nice to know you recognize this and are making that promise to your future grandchildren 🙂

    May 6, 2015 at 8:18 am
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Haha! Thank you! Same here-I have been so fortunate on that front! Some of my friends, not so much. I can’t imagine having to deal with the extra sets of “parents” around. It would make me crazy!

      May 6, 2015 at 8:22 am
  • Reply Sue Parke

    Beautiful letter and post! I agree with Shelah on my favorite part haha – “promising” to keep your mouth shut! My mother totally doesn’t keep her mouth shut haha! And it’s so true that becoming a parent really teaches us and makes us understand what our parents did for us.

    May 6, 2015 at 9:30 am
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Thank you so much! I know it’s going to be difficult sitting on the sidelines though. But it will be so important!!

      May 6, 2015 at 9:32 am
  • Reply Lauren

    So sweet! It is so crazy to me the choices we me and how we pick what we like and didnt like from how we were raised…

    May 6, 2015 at 10:58 am
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Thank you! Yes, so true! I’m interested to see how my kids are going to raise their kids differently.

      May 7, 2015 at 3:08 pm
  • Reply Melissa

    Great letter! I hope my kids will remember that I’m not perfect. I have made mistakes but hopefully they will remember all of the good parts too.

    May 6, 2015 at 12:44 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Thanks! Me too!

      May 7, 2015 at 3:07 pm
  • Reply M from The Stay-at-Home Life

    wonderful letter. I’m sure one day your kids are so going to appreciate it.

    May 6, 2015 at 5:51 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Thank you! I hope so!

      May 6, 2015 at 6:59 pm
  • Reply Lash Factory

    What a wonderful letter! You are such a sweet mom. I’m sure your kids will be inspired and well prepared when the time comes that they will become parents too. Thumbs up! Hannah, Makeup Artist

    May 7, 2015 at 6:49 am
  • Reply Rachael Boley

    All so true and meaningful, with a touch of humor…I love it! We all just do our best and we make a lot of mistakes and pray our kids appreciate our effort when they get older and have their own families. That’ll happen without doubt. You’re doing an amazing job!!!

    May 7, 2015 at 7:00 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Thank you! So true. Sometimes I think a parent isn’t truly appreciated until their child is an adult with their own children. Haha!!

      May 7, 2015 at 11:17 pm

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