Discussing Insecurities with Your Kids

We all have insecurities. Some people are more confident than others. However, even the most confident person has something in the back of their mind they wish they could change.

Enter kids. We want to raise strong, confident kids. Insecurities can be difficult to avoid so it’s important they know that its okay to talk about them in order to overcome them.

While we’re raising our kiddos, we might worry about sensitivities we have about our “flaws”. And by “we,” I mean me. I certainly can’t speak for anyone but myself, but I suspect it may be more common than people admit.

In my case, when my daughter was born, it occurred to me that one day I would have to explain to her why my back is different than (pretty much) everybody else’s.

That day was last week.

Discussing Insecurities

She simply said, “mom, why is your back like this?”

At first I was crushed. Luckily, I was able to quickly pull it together.

My back can sometimes be a touchy subject for me so I used to be nervous about how I would handle it. The biggest challenge was to act as if everything was fine. That I was fine. And I am, for the most part, but we all have our setbacks.

She doesn’t need to know about pain from my past. One day we can talk about it more in depth if necessary.

Perhaps if she has a run-in with a bully at school. Or one day, she might need help finding confidence in herself.

Or most importantly, from first-hand experience, I can teach her how to accept herself for who she is.

But nothing heavy yet, she’s only four.

So, instead of getting into specific details about my condition or past, I was able to turn it into a life lesson about loving people for the way they are. And as I said, she’s four, so I tried to keep it as simple as possible.

I  explained to her that everyone is unique in their own way. No matter what their personality is or if they look different. We’re all individuals and that is what makes us special.

She seemed to understand what I was saying. And knowing my girl, we’ll be talking about it again soon. She is a master of the word “why”. And now that I know it’s coming, I can confidently say, bring it on.

Have you had to talk to your kids about something you’re sensitive about? How did you handle it?

September 30, 2015
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11 Comments

  • Reply Traci@tracesoffaith

    A good post! I try to be sensitive to how much information my daughter actually needs at her age and maturity level. We have to trust mother’s instinct here a lot. But I find that one or two sentences usually does the trick.

    September 30, 2015 at 8:00 am
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Thanks! Me too, she usually just needs a brief explanation, then she’s off playing. ?

      September 30, 2015 at 8:24 am
  • Reply Krystal

    It is really difficult. My son is now 6 so he is questioning a lot more. I think it is hard for children younger that age to really grasp differences so they become more apparent at school.

    September 30, 2015 at 8:27 am
  • Reply Shann Eva

    My oldest, who will be turning 6 soon, came home from school the other day and said there was a kid that was bald. I wasn’t sure if it was because he had his head shaved or if he had lost his hair due to a medical condition, so I used it to talk about differences, and how we never make fun or laugh at someone because they are different. I’m not sure how much of it stuck, but I will keep revisiting it because I don’t want him to be an insensitive or mean kid just because he doesn’t understand. Great post!

    September 30, 2015 at 11:10 am
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Exactly! Same with me, I don’t know how much stuck, but we’ll definitely revisit it. Thanks so much! And thanks for reading!

      September 30, 2015 at 11:15 am
  • Reply Twitchetts.com

    Showing your kids you are human is important. Admitting we aren’t perfect and have flaws teaches them good lessons. Starting the conversation early seems like the way to go!

    September 30, 2015 at 4:54 pm
  • Reply Chanity

    My son has started asking about people’s differences recently and we are trying little by little to make sure he understands that we are all special and that everyone has something unique about them!

    September 30, 2015 at 6:37 pm
  • Reply Ellen oliveira

    Very important topic, it’s good to be open with our children and explain things to them that are age appropriate.

    October 1, 2015 at 5:07 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Absolutely agree! Thanks so much for reading!

      October 1, 2015 at 5:18 pm
  • Reply Alana

    I don’t know how I never saw this post before. It must have been a hard subject to address but the lessons you are teaching your daughter about having insecurities, but finding away to be strong through them is invaluable.

    September 12, 2016 at 6:07 pm
    • Reply Tarynn Playle

      Thank you!! Maybe I need to revamp this post. Thanks for pointing it out. I don’t even think I have it on Pinterest. ?

      September 12, 2016 at 6:10 pm

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