The One Thing I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Having a Baby

I have a lot of resentments regarding things I didn’t know about pregnancy, labor, birth, and having a baby.

There is some seriously wacky shit that goes on with our bodies!

If your water breaks, wrap yourself in a towel for the ride to the hospital. Because that gushing fluid leakage? Yeah, it doesn’t stop until baby is out. Your body continues to produce amniotic fluid until you are holding your sweet bundle.

After having a baby, you may experience uncontrollable shaking. Turns out, it’s normal and it has a name. It’s called “transition”. I sure wish I had known to expect it because shaking like that can be a little disconcerting.

With all the books and blogs now a days at our fingertips, I still felt blindsided on far too many things to mention.

I met with a friend recently who is expecting her first. As we caught up on life and what to expect, it occurred to me to share with her one of the many things I had to learn the hard way. In fact, this is the one thing I wish someone had told me about having a baby.

So many things happen to our body after having a baby. This is the ONE THING I wish someone had told me.

After the first six weeks of recovery are up and you officially get the “go-ahead” from your doctor, you can start having sex.

Unfortunately, it can be extremely painful. It can suck, actually.

It doesn’t matter if you had a vaginal birth or cesarean, it can be painful either way. I can’t speak for every woman out there, but I know I’m not alone.

So, if you just had a baby and you and your partner are thinking about getting busy again, here is something to consider. Practice by yourself first.

Go to an adult toy store, buy yourself a little (or big) friend, and practice. Seriously. And be sure to use lube. Another thing they don’t always tell you, things tend to be extremely dry down there due to hormones, so don’t be shy with the lube.

Speaking of being shy, if you are too embarrassed to go to a sex shop, good news!! You can order anything online now! The only worry there, is what type of box it may come in.

So, for the love of your future sex life, before you start with the extracurriculars in the bedroom, at least think about what I’ve said.

This is the one thing I wish Someone had told me about having a baby. If you need to Prepare for baby, this is good advice!

Was there anything you had to learn the hard way after having a baby? Is there that one piece of advice you give to a friend that is expecting?

May 5, 2016
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17 Comments

  • Reply Lauren

    I warn all my friends about this!! I read lots of books before having my first and none of them warned me that!

    May 5, 2016 at 8:46 am
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Yes, I do too now! I read so many books and still had no clue!

      May 5, 2016 at 2:22 pm
  • Reply Theresa

    I needed a lot of IV fluid to counteract the blood pressure drop from the epidural medication (many bags). I looked like I had gained 25 pounds (unbeknownst to me until I looked in a mirror later).

    May 5, 2016 at 12:11 pm
    • Reply Theresa

      I forgot to mention my advice! If you already have low blood pressure, know that this can happen to you. And it will require monitored trips to the restroom while you get all the liquid out!

      May 5, 2016 at 12:14 pm
  • Reply Joanna

    Gosh… There are a lot of things I wish someone would have told me before I had my first. Now, that ship has sailed;)

    May 5, 2016 at 12:35 pm
  • Reply Michelle

    There are lots of things that happened during childbirth that I can’t even remember until I went through it again with my second, and I thought, “Dammit, why did I agree to have another baby?”. I’m blaming it on pregnancy brain.

    May 5, 2016 at 11:17 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      I think that’s why we get pregnancy brain. If we remembered everything, we maybe wouldn’t agree to do it again. 😀

      May 10, 2016 at 5:14 pm
  • Reply Theresa

    This is such a turbulent time in a woman’s life. Thank you for sharing some little known facts about what it is really like.

    May 6, 2016 at 3:34 am
  • Reply Andria

    The gushing water, so true! My water broke at home and when we arrived at the hospital the whole seat of the car was soaking. so much for just wearing a pad like they said!

    May 6, 2016 at 8:59 pm
  • Reply Melissa

    OMG I am so with you! I hate how there is so much people never talk about! That shaking is scary as heck! Mine was so bad I couldn’t even hold my baby, he’d have hit the floor. There is so much that really should be shared other than the typical, “Having a baby is wonderful! Everything you go through is worth it!” But you never hear what that “everything you go through” really is.

    May 10, 2016 at 7:23 pm
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      Yes! It’s so scary learning as you go, because with all the books you read, you think you’re prepared!

      May 16, 2016 at 1:49 pm
  • Reply Heather

    I was told how beautiful birth is and that all the messy stuff is handled by the Dr. NO! Birth is icky, messy, embarrassing and you have to be prepared to just deal with it and get over it. From fluid leakage, blood, poop… Be prepared to have more people than you ever thought see your hoo-ha.

    May 11, 2016 at 6:03 am
    • Reply mamabyfire@gmail.com

      No truer words Heather, no truer words. ?

      May 11, 2016 at 6:33 am
  • Reply Jenn

    I haven’t had any children but I know that my friends and family that have had children said much of the same thing. There were so many things that they felt unprepared for and were surprised that no one says anything. It truly is surprising with the internet and all the information out there. Thank you for sharing!

    May 11, 2016 at 4:50 pm
  • Reply Psychic Nest

    Hi Tarynn ,

    I had friends who complained about this situation as well. The body needs time to adjust after the pregnancy. There is nothing wrong about pleasing yourself and preparing your body to have sex again. Great post and advice, thank you!

    Zaria

    May 15, 2016 at 5:30 am
  • Reply Sami

    This is AMAZING. I completely know how this is. I actually have a draft with all of the “things I didn’t know before having a baby” and THIS was one of the top things! (Be on the look out for that post, totally not copy-catting lol.) 🙂 NOTHING ever said anything about that. It came as quite a shock. No books, no experiences, nothing.

    And the shaking? That shit was so weird. Love this! 🙂

    August 10, 2016 at 9:48 pm
    • Reply Tarynn Playle

      Thank you so much!! Yes!! I thought I was so prepared for birth and post partum, and I definitely wasn’t!! Please let me know when you post yours, I would love to read it!!

      August 10, 2016 at 10:14 pm

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