**This is an extremely personal post specific to me. I understand everyone has different challenges, physical or otherwise.
Lately, I’ve had a hard time finding motivation to lose weight.
No matter how much I lose, no matter how fit I am, and no matter my dress size, I will never look good in clothes. And while we’re at it, I will never feel good in clothes either.
Every time I am determined and say, ‘This is it, I’m going to stick with it and lose the weight,’ I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think, ‘why does it matter? I will never be able to wear a cute top without anyone seeing me.’
I’ve had scoliosis since I was eleven. Severe scoliosis.
Any ounce of self esteem I have or have had regarding my physical appearance has been hard earned.
Have you ever felt uncomfortable in your body? Perhaps your clothes don’t fit right in a certain area, or maybe you’re so tired, you feel like you’re jumping out of your skin.
That is how I feel in my body 24/7. I’m crooked. I can tell. It feels wrong and awkward.
When I wear a tank top around people that don’t know me well enough to ask, I can feel the question on the tip of their tongue. “What’s wrong with your back?”
It’s innocent. They aren’t trying to be rude. And usually it doesn’t bother me. In fact, I’d rather they ask instead of feeling like there is something lingering over our heads. I can still hate that the question is there.
But that’s my issue. It’s all in my head. Nobody cares how I look. When they want to ask, it’s either out of curiosity or concern, not because they think less of me.
So now I need to grab a hold of the right reasons to lose weight.
For me, it’s not to look better on the outside. And it’s certainly not so I can “get away” with wearing cuter clothes.
It’s to be healthy. To set a good example for my kids. And, honestly, a stronger core is exactly what my back needs.
This is my attempt to ditch the ridiculous excuse I’ve been leaning on to continue eating poorly and skipping out on exercising everyday.
No excuse is good enough to compromise your health.
What is your motivation to lose weight? Please feel free to share your thoughts on this post in the comments. Thank you so much for reading!